Saturday, October 06, 2007

Doorway to Peace


"Peace Door"

Here's a photo of the neighborhood "Peace Door".

There are a lot of things that I really like about this particular doorway.

I love the peace banner. I love the sage green of the door contrasted with the grey of the house; and I have to tell you, I also love those unexpected splashes of orange accent color. For me, everything blends together and creates a visual aesthetic that makes me smile inside.

You can't see, but there's also the sweetest cement Buddha sitting under the rain spout just to the left of the porch. I always smile at the Buddha whenever I walk by. I just can't help myself.

Buddha is so round bellied, so jovial, so approachable. It's easy to smile at the Buddha when I pass.

Surprisingly, Buddha stands in sharp contrast to how I view God.

....and sometimes, I find this oddly perplexing.

You see, I don't see God as a round bellied, sweetly smiling God. I see him as a whippet thin, frowning, and finger pointing God. Maybe God is all sweet and smiley with you, but when he turns to see me, all of that holy rage of His wells up and shoots like a thunderbolt towards my lower than snail slime self.

That's why I'm convinced that God sent Jesus just for me.

Jesus doesn't curl my toes with fear. I can relate to Jesus. He's just a guy, a normal, ordinary guy. I trust Jesus.

I don't quite understand how I can love Jesus and still fear God as I do. I mean Jesus is God, right? But you know what? Right now, I'm totally fine with marking this whole situation down as yet another cosmic mystery, a sacred paradox.

I don't feel a need to judge it, or explore it, or explain it. I just let it be, because for right now, it's ok if it's just Jesus and me.

Jesus doesn't mind if I smile at the Buddha. Jesus doesn't fret because I'm sometimes afraid of God. Jesus doesn't seem overly concerned by my snail slime lineage, because instead of shooting thunderbolts my way, Jesus extends his hand in friendship.

My Christian friends don't understand me when I speak this way. I've struggled against that alot because I want others to understand so that I can feel less alone in this spiritual journey.

Then I remember. It's ok if it's just Jesus and me. I remember that with Christ, I am understood; with Christ, I am never alone. The rest, whatever the "rest" is, will fall into place when it's time.

In this respect, I suppose Jesus is my very own doorway to Peace.

I don't know about you, but I think that's kind of cool.

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