Boggled

So many thoughts have rolled through my mind these past couple of weeks.

So many ideas, so many questions.....

So many feelings, so many hopes.....

So many....too many to ever really catalogue here.

That's probably a good thing. I mean after all, do you really want to hear about my struggles with continuing our family's presence in our local church? Do you really want to know my anguish and the resignation of knowing that we will never truly fit, or for that matter, be welcomed into our neighborhood's expression of the body of Christ? Our church certainly isn't interested in knowing this, why should you be?

Do you really want to hear about my Saturday? How I spent the entire day working on an annual work plan for our city's Social Services Advisory Board. Do you want to hear how my insides rolled and became agitated when the majority of our board proposed we incorporate a "measurable outcomes" clause in our contract with service providers? Does anyone really care how much I believe we will lose sight of caring for people if we become too outcome oriented?

Does anyone really care to read about one of the homeless families we know who can't seem to find adequate resources in our community to obtain glasses for their teenage son. The kid is literally blind without his specs. Our oldest daughter commented how sad it was to see this kid pressing his face up against the numbers on the doors of his classes to make sure he had the right room for class at school. Do you really want to hear how frustrating it has been for our family to continually approach churches and civic organizations for help with this need and to have them ignore our pleas?

Does anyone really want to hear how I cried as I took down the newspaper clippings of the children in need of adoption off of our refridgerater. I needed to make room for new faces. I cried for every child that hasn't found a loving home.

Does anyone really want to read about my friend who relapsed on crack and alcohol, the friend suffering from PTSD who cried at my kitchen table yesterday morning, or the hungry homeless guy I bought a burger for on Monday?

Does anyone really want to hear me recite the statistics for homelessness in my community? Do you really care that this literally breaks my heart....to see children homeless? Do you want to hear the statistics for hunger in my community, to know that our food banks are empty, that giving is down and need just keeps going up?

For the love of God, does anyone care?

Anyone?

PS~Rhetorical questions my friends, rhetorical. Please know that I value each of you reading. I also know that good things are happening all across the globe; and yes, good things are happening even in my own community. What riles me is knowing that we have the resources to end homelessness, hunger, and many, if not the majority of the social justice issues facing our world. It boggles my mind. It freaking boggles my mind.

There. I'm done. Rant over.