Summer Wanes

Here is a recent photo of my six year old daughter, my baby.

When I look at this photo, I cannot help but notice the sweetness about the gentle curve of her mouth.

I see the innocent dreams of childhood swirling in her hazel eyes.

When I look at this image of my beautiful child, I see the waning summer in her overly long bangs.

I see the sunshine of days past sprinkled across the bridge of her nose as hundreds of tiny freckles dance in a light brown contrast to her ivory skin.

When I look at this photo, I see my precious baby and I cannot help but remember that 11 days from now, she will enter the first grade. She will leave me and I will be home alone, all day, for the first time in 17 years.

It will be so strange to be in my house without the sound of a child laughing, singing, demanding, questioning.

People have asked me what I intend to do with myself now that all of the children will be in school from 8:30 am until 3:15 pm.

I honestly don't know how to answer that question.

I do know that I hope to take a spanish language class. I hope to spend more time engaging God through prayer, scripture reading, long walks together and coffee dates. I hope to continue mentoring women as they pursue recovery, healthy community and their education. I hope to experience a few stolen hours every now and then with my husband....quiet, intimate moments, unhindered by the demands of the life we have created together.

I hope for many things; but mostly I hope that this beautiful child of mine will continue to smile that sweet smile of hers. I hope that her eyes will always be filled with innocence of her own dreams. I hope that no matter what this life dishes out to her, she will meet each challenge with courage, compassion and hope.

These are the same hopes I have for all of my children.

Truth be told, these are they very same hopes I hold for myself.

Please God, help me to be kind.

God, help me to be brave.

God, help me remember how much I am loved.

Please God, help me.

Amen