Thursday's Thirteen

Thirteen Reasons Why I Haven't Been Blogging 1…. Depression. There. I said it. I'm depressed. No, not the deep, dark hole kind of depression; rather, mine is a more subtle, pernicious variant. I'm not the kind of woman who can blog through her depression. I withdraw, isolate and eat too many Lindor chocolate truffles. 2.... School clothes shopping. OMG! OMG! OMG! YOU try shopping with a 16, 14, 11, 8 and 5 year old. It's mind bending, soul destroying, gut wrenching WORK! 3.... I've tweaked my back. It hurts if I sit too long. Hurts like the dickens. This makes blogging painfully difficult. I can't sit long enough to get the words out from my slow plodding brain, through my slow, typing impaired finger tips. 4.... I feel uninspired. (A function of the depression, surely?) 5.... I'm tired. Twice this past week, I've stayed up late just to prove to myself that I could. What was I thinking? 6.... Fall is a tough time for me emotionally. I'm not sure why this is, it just is. I can't make sense of my insides. Nothing seems right. Everything hurts. I'm raw, uncooked, vulnerable. 7.... I'm lonely. All of my friends are living the "good" life. Me? I'm alone with my thoughts and waiting for life to turn up the heat and cook me to perfection. 8.... God is still with me. I rest in Him and I spend my time pondering the Bible and praying instead of pounding the keyboard. 9.... I'm in the process of applying for college. Ugh! Paperwork sucks. 10... I'm hormonal, perimenopausal. Trust me folks, eating soy doesn't seem to help matters either...and it's hard to discipline one's self to write when their emotions are riding some bizarre hormonal roller coaster. 11... Have I mentioned how much my back hurts, how I'm depressed, and that I'm up to my eyeballs in admissions forms ect? 12... Blogging might be a done deal for me. Two years into this process and I can't help but question why I do it....why I bother, does it really matter? 13... Don't mind me. I'm spinning. The good news is this. Eventually I'll be pointed in the right direction once again.

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

The Glory Shuttle

The Glory Shuttle was back this morning.

What the heck is the Glory Shuttle, you ask?

Well, the Glory Shuttle is a tripped out van that transports individuals who require non emergency medical transport.

I also happen to know that the Glory Shuttle is in the business of transporting the dearly departed.

I know this because I've often seen Glory Shuttle personnel loading sheet shrouded stretchers into the back of their tripped out van.

Living near a retirement/rehabilitation center, I see the Glory Shuttle more often than most people.

This morning, when I saw the Glory Shuttle loading yet another, presumably deceased preson, I couldn't help but wonder if many would even notice if I weren't here any longer.

The sad thing is, I don't think most people would even know of my death until long after the Glory Shuttle had come to haul my dead ass away.

Except for my immediate family, it would be weeks, possibly months before anyone else might notice I was missing.

Doesn't this seem a bit odd?

Think about it.

Some of you who read my blog are dear friends and beloved family members.

If I died today, right now, sitting here at my little Dell, how long would it be before you even learned of my passing?

Assuming my grieving husband did not call you to inform you of my death, how many days would pass before you wondered about me?

Now, I'm not writing this to shame anyone, or to manipulate more phone calls or e-mails from any of you. That's not the point here at all.

In fact, I'm not even sure there is a point.

Oh, who am I kidding? There most certainly is a point.

And that point is this:

Don't let the people you meet, slip through your fingers and through your life unnoticed, or unacknowledged.

Love them. Love them all.

Tell them you love them.

Do it often, over and over.

Don't do it because you want lots of people crying when the Glory Shuttle comes for you.

Do it because you were made for love. Do it because it is your divine destiny to love. Do it to honor your God, who IS love.

Don't think about it.

Just do it.

Turn or burn?

I heard this story the other day.

I loved it so much, that I thought I would share it with all of you.

Let me know what you think, ok?

******************

One day a man was out walking his dog, when he saw an angel walking towards him.

"That's funny!" the man thought to himself. "I could swear that is an angel."

Sure enough, it was an angel; and as the angel drew nearer, the man noticed that the angel was carrying a pail of fire in one hand and a pail of water in the other.

"Hello." greeted the man.

"Hello." replied the angel.

Curious, the man asked, "If you don't mind me asking, what are you doing with that bucket of fire and that pail of water?"

The angel paused and replied, "Well, if you must know, I'm on my way to put out the fires of hell with the one and to burn down the mansions of heaven with the other. Then," the angel exclaimed, "we shall see who really loves God!"

A longing to be still

Hermine GSTEU

tired

Austria

23.10.2004

This is how I feel inside.

I feel small.

I feel tired.

I feel raw.

I feel as though I am this child and instead of a doll, I am clutching the undressed, abject nakedness of my own life to my chest.

I feel as though I am sleepwalking through my day,

through my relationships,

through my own thoughts.

And I am longing for that moment when I can quit mashing the hamburgers,

quit washing the pool towels,

quit worrying about the uncleaned berries in my kitchen sink....

and

just

be

still.

Mason's the man!

SOME SAY I'M NOT
by Mason Jennings

to look at a baby you’ve gotta be brave
in the black of his eye
is your own grave
and something darker
you wanna touch
it must be love cause it hurts so much

Move over Ben, Chris, Nick and Jason (the Death Cab For Cutie boys)...I have a new musical paramour!

Can anyone say, MASON JENNINGS?

Sheesh, I just love this guy.

I love his voice, his lyrics....Mason's got soul, man! He's the real deal!

When I listen to Mason, he reignites my desire to fall in love; and this is a good thing, because I believe that loving others is a daily choosing.

So what are you waiting for?

Click the link already!

Thirteen Things

Thirteen Things I Love About My Oldest Son(Today is his fourteenth birthday!) 1…. He is a talented musician. (He plays the guitar, big bass, bassoon and trumpet.) 2.... He has a kind heart. 3.... He laughs at all of my jokes. 4.... He loves God. 5.... He fences with finesse. 6.... He is a star gazer. 7.... He respects women. 8.... He respects himself. 9.... He's not afraid to be gentle and compassionate. 10... He often asks the "why" questions and then really listens to discern the truth. 11... He honors his parents. 12... He's funny. 13... He insists that I sing better than most people. (Which I don't, but I love him for saying so!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Ocean views, God views, and the heart of a child.

There's an interesting phenomenon that happens when people come to the Oregon Coast.

Most people love to rent ocean view rooms, gaze upon the beauty of our changing coastline; but very few actually venture down to slip their bare feet into the silken sand or to dip their naked toes into the Pacific ocean.

When I go to the beach, I literally go to the beach. It's as if I am drawn by some invisible magnet. I can't resist the pull of the ocean. It's almost as if I am compelled to go, to measure myself against the ocean's primordial greatness and to shout verse into the sea.

Once I actually get to the ocean's edge, I'm like some crazy little puppet on a string, jerking up and down the beach in rhythm with the crashing waves.

Few adults engage in this kind of activity. Those that do, have children with them.

Me?

I guess that I'm just a child at heart.

For the past few days, I've been alternately resting and playing at the beach and I've had ample opportunity to observe this phenomenon.

Doing so, has led me to wonder if most of us don't approach our relationship with God the same way most of us visit our nation's beaches.

That is to say, we visit with God from a distance.

Most of us seem content to gaze upon the portrait of God that is painted in scripture, or to let our pastors paint His Holy portrait with their words and sermons. Some of us are even willing to actually listen to the voice of God in our prayer lives....but very few of us seem willing to venture into the presence of the most high God and to experience first hand, the wildness, and dare I say, the ferocity of God's love.

Why are we so afraid?

...or is it sheer laziness that locks us in our seats where we observe from a distance rather than experience the glory of God, one on one, just God and ourselves?

Why do we settle for this second hand faith?

Why aren't we skipping and dancing in the ocean of God's holy love? Why aren't we laughing into the wind and building sandcastles with God?

I am struck that so many of us are content to view from afar what was meant to be lived....

I hope and pray that I never forget what it is to dance in the Pacific ocean. And when I've grown too old to tread safely over rock and sand to reach the ocean's edge, I pray that my children will carry me and I will once again dip my toes into the cold water and shout verse into the crashing waves.

My friends, do not be afraid.

Join me!

Dip your toes into God's holy love!

Let us shout verse into the sea together!

Join me!

Please?

A little time....

My life has taken me hostage and I have no time to blog.

Never fear.

Like General MacArthur, I shall return.

Thursday's Thirteen Things....

Thirteen Things Jerri Has Learned This Past Week! 1…. I have about a 50% chance of convincing the boys that the portobello mushrooms in the alfredo sauce are really meat. 2.... People really don't care if I am PMS-ing. Hmphf! Go figure...... 3.... Mason Jennings is really, really cute and I love his "BoneClouds" cd. 4.... Some people, for reasons entirely unknown to myself, think that I am "brilliant". 5.... People really will steal anything. I say this with some authority because someone just stole the two bags of garbage I was getting ready to load and haul to the dump. (Completely useless crap like old cracked toilet seats, broken toys, holey socks, ect.) 6.... I am not a lover of all things tuna. (Made fresh BBQ tuna and blech! Definately not my cup of tea.) 7.... I want to study spiritual formation and spiritual discipleship in a formal program. 8.... In the same vein as #7, I am afraid to return to the academic environment of higher education. (What if I'm too old, or people think I'm too weird, or I fail?) 9.... I no longer detest George Bush as I once did. (I've been praying the "resentment" prayer for ole Georgie boy...you 12 steppers know what I'm talking about!) 10... I really like Jamaican Ska! 11... It is possible to grow weary of Green Tea Frappuccino's. 12... Old dogs can learn new tricks...this old dog did anyway; and no, I'm not sharing anymore. Use your imagination! 13... Ok, are you ready for this one? It's a REAL kick in the pooper! ****Drum roll please!**** This week I learned the location of the five toothbrushes that mysteriously disappeared last week. Yup! You guessed it! Some lovely child had shoved them all down the downstairs bathroom sink.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Eye Candy!

heart with crossbones pendant: Michele Goldstein

Some of us have creative talent coursing through our veins, whereas the rest of us, well the rest of us are merely pretenders.

Michele Goldstein is the real deal!

Check out her new boutique!

Oh my!

Whatcha waiting for, hmmm? Click the link already and feast upon some luscious eye candy!

Good stuff, creative stuff, sweet and tasty and calorie free!

Go see!