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1…. Depression. There. I said it. I'm depressed. No, not the deep, dark hole kind of depression; rather, mine is a more subtle, pernicious variant. I'm not the kind of woman who can blog through her depression. I withdraw, isolate and eat too many Lindor chocolate truffles. 2.... School clothes shopping. OMG! OMG! OMG! YOU try shopping with a 16, 14, 11, 8 and 5 year old. It's mind bending, soul destroying, gut wrenching WORK! 3.... I've tweaked my back. It hurts if I sit too long. Hurts like the dickens. This makes blogging painfully difficult. I can't sit long enough to get the words out from my slow plodding brain, through my slow, typing impaired finger tips. 4.... I feel uninspired. (A function of the depression, surely?) 5.... I'm tired. Twice this past week, I've stayed up late just to prove to myself that I could. What was I thinking? 6.... Fall is a tough time for me emotionally. I'm not sure why this is, it just is. I can't make sense of my insides. Nothing seems right. Everything hurts. I'm raw, uncooked, vulnerable. 7.... I'm lonely. All of my friends are living the "good" life. Me? I'm alone with my thoughts and waiting for life to turn up the heat and cook me to perfection. 8.... God is still with me. I rest in Him and I spend my time pondering the Bible and praying instead of pounding the keyboard. 9.... I'm in the process of applying for college. Ugh! Paperwork sucks. 10... I'm hormonal, perimenopausal. Trust me folks, eating soy doesn't seem to help matters either...and it's hard to discipline one's self to write when their emotions are riding some bizarre hormonal roller coaster. 11... Have I mentioned how much my back hurts, how I'm depressed, and that I'm up to my eyeballs in admissions forms ect? 12... Blogging might be a done deal for me. Two years into this process and I can't help but question why I do it....why I bother, does it really matter? 13... Don't mind me. I'm spinning. The good news is this. Eventually I'll be pointed in the right direction once again. |
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun!
2 comments:
Jerri, not say this often enough but I really enjoy reading your blogs. I don't always make a comment but I am always here reading. Your insight to life and the world around you brings joy to my little corner of New Orleans.
Thanks Bev!
You did my heart good today!
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