Bloody Stool....

Lately, I've been an emotional mess. The events of this day have done nothing to help matters either.

Just a few moments ago, I entered the kitchen only to discover alarming amounts of dog feces and blood all over the linoleum. Clearly our little Lily beast has blood in her stool. I suspect that this is not a good thing and I'm certain that our visit to the vet later today will confirm that suspicion.

I also received a letter from my Grandfather today. It's been nearly a year since my Grandmother died. My Grandfather's loneliness and grief permeated his note. I was defenseless against the raw sorrow that I read there. His stark emotion rose out from the written word and pierced my heart.

I was left shaken and crying by his concluding lines "Bert passed at 10:30 pm on October 6th. God I miss her. I have to sign off now and cry."

In that one moment, all of the loss I've experienced this past year swept back over me in a wave of quiet despair.

I feel as though I cannot bear another loss. There have simply been too many losses this past year, and right now, one more might leave me completely and utterly bereft.

What will happen then? Will I simply slip away into my own nightmarish world of sorrow and grief?

And if that should happen, what then of my Grandfather? Who will bear witness to his pain and suffering?

What strange questions on such a lovely day.....