Imagine....

What do you suppose would happen if our ability to control and to manipulate the tiny details of our lives were suddenly taken from us?

What if we could no longer work, or feed ourselves, or use the toilet without assistance? What if we were suddenly forced to allow others to wash our clothes, prepare our food, to brush our teeth?

Since we live within a culture that values people for what they do and for what they contribute, do you think that our core identities would be anything less than completely shattered?

I cannot help but wonder what would happen if I were suddenly "reduced" to simply "being"....

Do you suppose that once the rage and the grief had washed through me, I might ponder all of the ways I've struggled to be better than others, or at the very least to look better than others?

Do you suppose I might be surprised by the violence I have lived out in my own life, just trying improve my position in the world around me.

Do you suppose I might grieve the harm I have done just trying to feel better about myself?

....and yes, if I am honest, I must admit that in my efforts to control and to manipulate the world and the people around me I have committed acts (of violence) that have resulted in pain and harm to myself and to others.

Sometimes I try to imagine what kind of person I would become if I were completely free from the obsessions and the compulsions which drive me today.

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like, if I were able to truly live in community and yet be truly free and truly at peace.

It is a mind blowing exercise to imagine such a life, such a world; and yet, somehow I know that I could not even begin to imagine such things if those seeds had not already been planted within me.

This gives me hope.

Hope for a better Jerri,
......hope for a better future,
.......... and hope for a better world!