"Off Kilter"

At least once a day a friend will call and ask, "So Jerri, how are you doing?"

I always answer, "You know, I'm ok. Things are ok."

Yesterday I found myself wondering, what does "ok" mean anway?

It didn't take long for me to come up with my own answer. I don't know what other people think "ok" means to them, but for me "ok" means, "off kilter".

At this time in my life, everything seems wonky, a tad off; and so when people ask how I am, I tell them, "I'm ok."

I think whenever we experience loss, whether it is a loss of relationship or a loss to death, the balance in our world shifts and everything suddenly seems off kilter. We notice things we never noticed before and we somehow miss seeing the things we once saw with unfailing clarity....

The world changes somehow, and it takes time for our internal gyroscope to adjust itself.

This is how it should be, for the world is always a little less with every loss...and for a while at least, life itself should be just a little off kilter.