Whether you and I and a few others
will renew the world some day remains to be seen.
But within ourselves we must renew it each day.
--Herman Hesse
I long to see this world renewed,
and
I long to know my place within that reimagined space.
What happens to a person
when they are no longer able to renew
the worlds that lie within?
I ask
because I have reached a dry place,
a dead space
and I fear that my juicy self
will soon be dessicated.
What will happen to me then?
Do I trust God enough
to become
as dust?
Do I trust Him enough
to wait for His Holy breath
to speak my dusty pieces into being once again?
If so,
He asks much of me in this.
Thus begins my July,
this withering month
of heat and dryness.
By August I know that I will be all but parched,
and it is my hope
that should you come looking for me,
you shall find me
and when you do
that I will still be clinging to these longings
for all that is juicy...
...still longing for renewal
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3 comments:
it's a pause in the desert... before the rains renew you... it is ok to be parched, to pause, to estivate (the summer equivilant of hibernate)....
enjoy the pause -- don't worry so much -- there is energy needing time to grow within you... consider this a siesta
rest & have patience
Jeri .. your eloquence of the written word strikes my soul every time you place your fingers to the key board. Thank you for all of your guidance; sometimes I laugh, other times I cry but I always retain your words in my heart.
To quote Rick Warren in The Purpose Driven Life, page 43, paragraph 3: "A very important test is how you act when you can't feel God's presence in your life. Sometimes God intentionally draws back, and we don't sense his closeness." It goes on to talk about King Hezekiah's test of this nature, how it revealed weakness in him that needed to be dealt with so that he was prepared for future responsibility. You and I talked about this recently when I was in a similar place, remember? I even wrote a song about it. I sent you the link to my YouTube thingy. The song's called "Far Away". Praise God, He's not gone forever, it's only for a season, as it was with me. I'm beginning to see what I was being prepared for. :-) James
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